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We all heard that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in the US so that he can address the UN Assembly in New York. Well, he requested permission from authorities in New York (Bloomberg) to visit AND place a wreath honoring the 9/11 victims at ground zero. They denied him that.

What you perhaps did not hear was that after they denied it, he said “I’m going anyway, bitch!” And the NYPD was like, alright, I guess we’ll escort you there anyway. The point is that I thought about what a sad state of affairs this country and liberty is in, when a head of state of a country that supports terrorism and the exctinction of the jew has to come in and remind us that this is a free country. Personally, I’m glad he’s going, it’ll teach SOME people a lesson about how far the government can go in telling people what to do.

I’m sure this will cause an uproar, as the far right call this guy Imonajihad or Ahmanutjob.

…mildly clever.

So, the senate passed the S.Amdt. 2934 to S.Amdt. 2011 to H.R. 1585.

It was a resolution that condemned the MoveOn.org ad against General Petraeus.  My response: Could the senate possibly waste a little more time?  Perhaps condemn George Bush for eating oatmeal cold.  That is worth the money we pay them, which I estimate at a ten thousand dollars for the time to pass this thing.

To tell you 3 hours of news about O.J. Simpson.  The first 3 years of hearing about his criminal activities wasn’t enough.  the public demands more!  I want to know every detail about what happened.  Was he carrying a gun?  Did he own the memorabilia?  Was this just a conspiracy and that he was set up by the media, e.g. TMZ.com?  I want to know everything! And I don’t just want to hear everything just once, I want to hear it over and over again until I wish I was dead.

Also: Breaking a world record is stupid.  Ok, so people try to break a record about 65,000 times a year.   So, it turns out that you probably won’t get in the book, and the fat cats at guinness are even too lazy to keep even 1/10 of the records online.  The rest sit in a file cabinet in a brewery.

As a child I thought as a child and acted like a child and played as a child. And when I became an adult I had that child taken out back and shot. You always have bigger dreams as a kid, but they aren’t necessarily better dreams. For instance, when I was a child I wanted to be a taxi cab driver. My uncle Mike wanted to be a garbage man. (The garbage picking field goal kicking philadelphia phenomenon probably didn’t help to stifle that.) But anyway I’ve diagrammed a little bit of what I expected as a child.

Here is an ideal world, i.e. pretty pretty pony.

And this is what I imagined as my future career.

Yes, that’s me riding a pony, wanna fight about it.  But we all know this isn’t how life is.  Sometimes, we don’t get to ride ponies, and sometimes we have to ride the hate train through 36 inches of BS.  And sometimes we end up as technicians and engineers, which is all well and good, but who is going to train the damn ponies?  I can tell you who.  For you see, I was one of the few that attempted to complete their dream and this is what happened.

The SEC impounded my flying robot compatriot, Geoffrey, and an illegal immigrant took my pony riding job.  That’s the state of affairs in the country.  Oh, is that not PC enough for you? No bloviating, keep your comments pithy.

I’m just going to lay out the entire political landscape once again, as I have told many of you.  But, I think if I can put this into print, I can just link people to it.

So today was the anniversary of 9/11.  And General Petraeus gave his speech on the condition of the surge in Iraq.  Guess what? It’s working, is what he said.  If you thought to yourself “Yeah, right” or alternatively “Doin a heckuva job” I’m gonna have to hip you to something.  You didn’t come to that decision by yourself.  Someone did that to you.  It isn’t really your fault, but you’ve got the Republicans on one side, pressuring Petraeus to say it is working, because they’ve got a lot riding on the surge.  Not much better on the other side, the democrats didn’t care what he said.  If he said it wasn’t working he was credible as hell, but since he said it was working, he is a pawn of the administration.

In reality, Petraeus is probably a fairly good person.  He’s most likely an honorable military man who just got put in a bad situation.  I have no reason to think he would outright lie about any of it.  Granted he might be biased since he serves at the discretion of the president, but I doubt he’s a liar.  The surge probably IS working, but that doesn’t change anything.

The only thing that is important to take away from this is that neither party, in fact no one except a handful of people (yourself, your parents, and perhaps a partner) has your best interests in mind.  For absolutely anything.  In politics, the parties do everything for themselves, and so you must use a skeptical eye for everything in politics.   This includes third party people are communities.  (and by third party, I don’t mean a third political party, but bystanders like MoveOn or Sean Hannity).  If you have a hard time listening to dissenting opinions, you need to work on it.  If you can’t find humor in extreme factions like Sean Hannity or the Daily Kos, you are taking it too seriously.  Politics can be a great form of serious entertainment.  Serious in that it is important that you agree with your candidates, but entertainment in that they’re just doing the dance and you just have to hope they stick to their guns.

Don’t despair! Love politics, Love America, and hope for a change in the system.  In the meantime, enjoy the ride.

As a fundamentalist Christian, I think that it’s important for me to lay out my Left Behind letter, for all of you unsaved when the rapture is here. As you know by now, after America bombed Iran, this triggered the beginning of the end of the world. And the rapture has happened, and I have been taken. The only downside is that the republican base is all in heaven, and the democrats will certainly cause hellfire to rain down upon America, as predicted in revelations. Nancy Pelosi is the anti-christ.

As for me, I should probably let you know that I am currently in heaven, sipping gin and juice and my savior, watching reruns of the 3 stooges.  I couldn’t let this letter go by without saying, “In your face.”

For those still around, know that the only way to salvation…is to grant emergency powers to George Bush.

[14:39] grouchomarxus: lets draft an e-mail to all news sites
[14:40] Garet121: What should it say?
[14:40] grouchomarxus: that say “we’re glad you’ve chosen to incorporate video on your website, but I have a friend to introduce you to. His name is “embedded video”
[14:40] grouchomarxus: Why do they all have some window pop up, and then I have to take a 10 question survey and watch a commercial

I just clicked on a CNN video, and realized they finally have met my old friend embedded video. No pop up windows, no stupid multiple choice questions. Thank you, MR. CNN.

Update: CNN now links to Onion articles? I’m quite serious.  Go there.

I was thinking about the upcoming election, and realized that perhaps the Republicans could still win, due to undecided voters.  Many people think all undecided voters are stupid, but thats completely wrong.  When I thought about it, there’s a pretty clear division about people undecided and not undecided.   Let me show you:

I assume most of you recognize this is a square wave, often seen in signal processing.  Most of you will probably be more familiar with this equation, as pictures are often confusing:

Ok, so let’s take a look at what this all means.

So, between braindead and IQ(I know it says Q, I don’t know why) of 60, they have already chosen.  More than likely this was instilled by their parents, and although many of you think “republican base” there’s a fair share of democrats in here too.

The next section is your undecided idiots.  These are the ones that are well-meaning, but fall for the political tricks that make your brain hurt.  Flashy gimics and agressive fist shaking will sway this crowd.  They give undecided voters a bad name.

The next part of the graph is the overwhelming majority of Americans.  They have, to a degree, considered what they believe, and selected democrat or republican.  Unfortunately, these people don’t help much either, generally close-minded, and don’t understand that neither party gives a crap about them.

The smarter people, from 130 - 170, are undecided, because they truly want to have someone represent their interests.  They rarely belong to a party strictly.  These are the good people.

The last part of the wave is unclear.  Ultra-geniuses see the bigger picture and don’t vote.

I hope this will guide you into the world of undecided users.

Well, guess who recovered some 40 old posts from his old blog and is posting them shortly?  It was me.  And it’s all thanks to Ian Monroe and his crazy “Linux,” as he calls it.

Mad Props to Ian on this one.

I’m importing all the posts, and once I figure out how to properly set the published date, it will be back to usual business.

Dear Hillbilly Douche in the JC Penney,

I know that when you were walking through the children’s  clothing section and yelled loudly “Let’s get these coats. I’m fucking hungry. God Damn! Harna Harna Ha,” you likely considered that you were doing the rest of us a favor.  You thought that we were wondering whether you were content, or if something was bothering you.  Let me assure you, we did not care.  No No wait! Seriously, we didn’t care.  In fact, as you towed your baby’s mama and her child behind you, as you wore a winter coat in mid-summer, your peers in the store weren’t looking at you in admiration; no, we were all imagining how we wished we could kill you if it weren’t illegal.  I personally wanted to cut your achilles tendon and leave you in the woods.  The woman with her 2 kids was pushing you down the stairs.  And the man waiting by the fitting rooms was hitting you with a molotov cocktail.  The only person who was impressed was Kevin Federline.  Case Closed.  Please stop wasting my air.